Ah, the age-old domestic debate that has echoed through kitchens and dining rooms across generations: “Honey, what should I cook today?” A seemingly innocent question, yet it has sparked countless discussions, chuckles, and, sometimes, sighs of frustration.
Some husbands argue, “Why ask me? Just cook whatever comes to your mind!” Yet, even when we offer suggestions, our wives often find a way to circle back to their own choices. So, what’s the point?
But let’s pause for a moment. Is this question really as trivial as it seems? Or is there a deeper layer—a subtle art of communication, love, and shared responsibility?
Many men feel cornered by this question. After a long, tiring day, the last thing on their minds is deciding between yam porridge and egusi soup. And frankly, most of us would eat whatever is placed before us, as long as it’s healthy and satisfying.
Yet, our wives persist. And even when we mutter a suggestion, if it doesn’t sit well with them, they skillfully persuade us to see things their way. It’s a delicate dance—one that leaves many wondering, “Why ask in the first place?”
But let’s flip the script. Imagine the mental load of deciding what to cook every single day. As one Mrs. Afolabi aptly put it, “It drains a woman psychologically when she thinks of what to cook at all times. If e easy, make man try am for one week!”
Cooking is more than throwing ingredients into a pot. It involves considering the family’s health, preferences, available resources, and even moods. Sometimes, asking “What should I cook?” isn’t about seeking permission but about seeking connection, sharing the weight of decision-making, and ensuring everyone is satisfied.
I recently came across my wife’s (Beatrice E. Danjuma, Esq.) response on this very issue on Barrister Wanche’s Facebook page. Her words struck a chord with me. She wrote:
“Knowing what to cook is a full-time job. I never understood this until I got married. Oga, na suggestions she need, she didn’t ask you to be the one to prepare the food. Assist her, it’s really a mental exercise knowing what to prepare every day.”
Her perspective offered me a fresh understanding. It’s not about passing the cooking responsibility but about sharing the mental load. Sometimes, a simple suggestion can ease that burden.
One Facebook user, Prince Kelvin, beautifully captured this sentiment: “The question is very necessary. She invariably wants you to be part of the cooking even though she won’t cook what you might suggest to her. It lubricates the relationship, makes it chummy, and brings about a peaceful home.”
It’s about inclusion. It’s about a woman ensuring her husband feels involved, even in the little things. This question, as small as it seems, fosters unity and warmth.
So, what’s the solution?
Mrs. Mary suggests creating a meal timetable—a brilliant idea to ease the daily burden. This offers structure while leaving room for cravings and spontaneity.
For the husbands, perhaps offering a suggestion once in a while wouldn’t hurt. A simple, “Dear, how about that delicious jollof rice you made last week?” could be the spark of joy she needs.
And to the wives, trust your instincts more often. You know your family’s tastes better than anyone.
At the heart of it all is appreciation. As Mrs. Odudu wisely said, “Let’s appreciate our wives. It’s not easy cooking every day for the family.”
Behind every pot of soup and plate of rice is love, effort, and care. Let’s not overlook that.
So, whether she asks or not, whether you answer or dodge, may our homes continue to be filled with warmth, laughter, and delicious meals.
May God continue to provide for all families.
To our wives—thank you.
Abu can be reached via danjumaabu3750@gmail.com or +2348062380296
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